Godly Grief Vs Shame and Condemnation
When you first come to Christ, you experience salvation when you simply confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and repent from your sins.
Repent means to turn away from sin - but it comes from your heart by the power of the Holy Spirit.
In ourselves we have no power over sin - on our own we are spiritually bankrupt.
Salvation happens when we recognize this, and ask the the power of the Spirit to come into our lives through the sacrifice of Jesus. This is the saving power we need to be free of the sin and the shame that once had us in a chokehold.
It’s a deep desire as a result of the Holy Spirit in your heart that compels you to cry out to Jesus and ask for forgiveness. And to make Him Lord of your life.
You start to “see” with spiritual eyes the reality of sin, and the reality of God. And the reality of your deep need for God.
You might feel ashamed, or the weight of your sin on your shoulders.
But When you repent and ask Jesus to forgive you He removes the shame and offers you peace and comfort in exchange.
He literally washes your sins away.
When you come to Him - He does not condemn you.
As you walk with God, and go further into your walk with Him through reading and studying his Word, prayer and spending time with other true believers, what happens is that you are in a process of becoming sanctified.
Sanctification means that you are becoming more and more like Jesus.
And as this happens, He will show you things in your life, mind and heart that are not aligned with Him or His Word.
He wants to free you from these things and prune them from your life because they are rotten branches that won’t produce fruit.
As you are being sanctified, you will experience Godly Grief.
You will remember things you did, thought, or believed when you didn’t know the Lord. God will show you current areas of sin in your heart that you didn’t realize were there.
And you will feel conviction - conviction is God’s loving way of showing you yourself and it is a work of the Holy Spirit inside of you that will show you where you are not lined up with God.
This happens a lot through the Word of God as well. This is why the Bible is called a mirror. It shows us things within ourselves that we don’t want to see, that we can’t see without the Spirit.
And then we feel a sense of conviction that draws us closer to Jesus, to the heart of the Father and to seek to be made new again.
Godly grief and sorrow over sin is very healthy.
In 2 Corinthians 7, Paul explains this to the church in Corinth. This is a follow up letter to a letter of correction He sent to them.
They responded to that letter of correction with grace and chose to receive it humbly. He writes: Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter. 2 Corinthians 7:10-11 Godly sorrow (or grief) actually gives us power to change. It cleanses us, it clears us.
This is very different from shame and condemnation.
This comes from Satan who comes to steal, kill and destroy.
The Bible says Satan accuses the children of God. That means he torments, he heaps shame, guilt and condemnation on you.
This is a worldly sorrow/grief that brings upon toxic shame and drives people to act out of guilt and shame - deflecting, numbing with substances, living in denial, refusing to face themselves or humble themselves, or fraught with anxiety and depression.
Godly Sorrow does not do that. We feel shame as a result of sin - this is just a consequence of sin that we see from the first sin committed in the garden when Adam and Eve ate the fruit and disobeyed the Lord.
However, as soon as we bring that shame to God, He gives us saving power - that means power to heal the shame with His love and forgiveness, AND power to overcome the sin that drove us to feel shame.
Jesus doesn’t condemn us when we come to Him with humble hearts.
Once we’ve been forgiven by Jesus, we can experience feelings of shame and condemnation for sins of the past. But this is NOT the same as godly grief, which looks back at this sin and feels a sense of sadness over breaking the heart of God. Godly grief is not about shame and condemnation. It’s about cleansing, freedom and truth.
In my journey walking with Jesus these past two years and pursuing Him, the Word of God has progressively brought conviction into my life.
The Spirit’s work has been faithful and patient to show me the sin and idols in my heart. Sometimes I remember past sinful thinking or actions, or I am made aware of a current sinful motive and it grieves the Spirit in me. It makes me feel sober, sad and tender hearted. It reminds me how much I need the Lord. When shame and condemnation enters, I bring it to God - because I know that the shame of the past is not from Him. But the grief is Godly - it is the spirit at work in me doing a deeper cleansing - a deeper cleaning of my insides. It is a pruning that will produce fruit.
And so I embrace it and let it wash over me, I remember that I am a child of God and no longer a slave to fear. I remember that the enemy’s shaming, condemning accusations have no power over me because I am covered by the blood of Jesus.
“Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool. If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land;
Isaiah 1:18-19
By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything.
1 John 3:19-20
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, And take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.
Psalm 51:10-12